I am worried about my friend. I call her many times a day fearing she's taken her life. I keep trying to come up with new ideas to solve her problem, but all she wants to talk about is how unhappy she is, and how she wishes her life was over.
When she doesn't use my ideas, I get discouraged and drained. I'm getting just like her, dwelling on her problems is overwhelming to my family and me. I think she needs a therapist, but she refuses to see one. What should I do?
Overwhelmed
Dear Overwhelmed,
You are a caring, empathic woman, who is taking on the emotions of your friend. The more you listen to her, the less confidence you have. She has a problem that only she can fix. She needs professional help on a psychological level. You are not a therapist and that’s what she needs.
Only she can save herself and all you’re doing is giving her the opportunity to dwell on her fears. It’s time to severe the tie.
Think of her as a small child (6) who has awakened from a nightmare. You’re trying to save her from drowning, but neither of you knows how to swim in such deep water. If she doesn’t want to get help, give her the phone number of a suicide hot line. They’re more trained than you are to talk about suicide prevention.
Be strong and take charge of your thinking.
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